All I Want for Christmas is Soda
by Rosebud5
Summary: 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the Curtis house, not a creature was stirring except Sodapop. The tale of a Christmas Soda will never forget...when he's kidnapped by elves, meets Santa, and injures his spleen. Two-shot. MERRY CHRISTMAS!
1. Shmirkle and Durkle

Hey guys! So as anyone who knows me knows...I LOVE CHRISTMAS! I obsess over it majorly...like, you guys should see my room during December...it looks like the North Pole threw up all over it. lol So here's an _Outsiders _Christmas two-shot fic for you all...ENJOY, LAUGH A LOT, AND HAVE A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS SEASON!

~Rosey

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**ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS SODA**

PART ONE: SHMIRKLE AND DURKLE

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the Curtis house, not a creature was stirring...except Sodapop.

Sodapop Curtis lay sprawled out on the couch, a glass of milk in one hand and a cookie in the other. A drunken Two-Bit had come by earlier and demanded Darry put out a plate of cookies and a jar of milk for Santa, but after he left Soda just took the milk and cookies for himself. Now Darry and Ponyboy were konked out in their rooms and a bored and slightly hyper Soda was finishing off the last of his milk and cookie.

When he was done eating said snackage, he got to his feet and walked over to the tree Darry had set up a few weeks ago. Shiny ornaments hung from the branches and he doinked one with his finger. He then doinked another. Soon, all the ornaments became his own personal concert of clinking glass balls. But this only amused him for so long before he flopped down in front of the tree and stared at the presents under it, wishing he had X-Ray vision where he could see inside.

Suddenly, he heard a scruffling sound inside the chimney. He gasped and got to his feet, watching tiny flakes of ash fall to the ground from inside. "OH MY HORSIE IT'S SANTA CLAUS!" he yelped, jumping up and down like a kid on Christmas. Which he was. If you consider a seventeen year old a kid. I guess the sugar in the cookies got him kinda...boooinggg.

Just as Soda realized it was probably a bad idea to eat Santa's snack since the jolly old man was apparently real, there came a loud thump from the bottom of the fireplace. And it wasn't Santa. It was elves.

I'm sorry. You don't believe me? Would I lie to you? No, I would not. There were elves in Soda's fireplace.

There were two of them, both about three feet high. They were both girls, and both appeared to be about eleven. They had curly red hair and wore your traditional elf clothes: all red and green.

Soda just stood there, his jaw dropped practically to the floor. Finally he said "Oh my gosh I've finally lost it."

"OH MY GOSH IT'S HIM!" the two little elves shouted in high pitched squeals. And they ran over to Soda and knocked him down on the floor with shocking strength.

"GET OFF ME YOU LITTLE KIDDIES!" Soda yelped, as any person would when knocked to the floor by two crazy elves.

"Kiddies?" one of the elves stood on Soda's stomach and crossed her arms. "We're five thousand years old!"

"Time has been nice to you," Soda raised an eye brow. This caused the elves to go into a giggle fit...who wouldn't when a movie-star handsome Sodapop complimented-ish you?

"Mr. Sodapop Curtis," one of the elves began. "I'm Shmirkle and this is Durkle and we are here to make a Christmas wish come true!"

"I'm getting Mickey Mouse back?" Soda's eyes got all wide and glitterly with hope.

"Not your wish, Wonderboy," Shmirkle humphed. "Rosebud's!"

"Who's Rosebud?" Soda questioned, wishing he could get up. But Shmirkle and Durkle were still sitting on top of him.

"Your biggest fan!" Durkle replied, jumping up and down.

"You're on my spleen!" Soda yelped.

"I think we're actually jumping on your liver," Shmirkle corrected him.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT IT IS IT HURTS!" Soda whined.

"Sorry," Durkle stopped jumping on whatever internal organ she was jumping on and sat down. "So are you coming? You're going to be Rosebud's Christmas gift!"

"I'd rather not. I think I'm going to have to have a spleendectimy now," Soda groaned.

"You can have one when you get there," Shmirkle said as she suddenly pulled out a huge box from her back pocket. "Now get inside the box."

"I will not!" Soda humphed. "I'm not some kind of Sale's Rack toy you can just buy and throw in a box!"

"If you don't get in the box we'll have to force ya," Durkle pushed up her sleeves.

"Oooh I'm so scared of two little elves putting me inside a-"

But he never got to finish as a giant candy cane whopped him in the head and he passed out cold.

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Soooo...yes. There's part one. lol This idea just hit me and I HAD to write it! Hehehe

So now I'm off to write part two! And you're off to

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**

~Rosey


	2. The North Pole

'Ello, mates! Okay so here's part two to my Soda Christmas fic...Enjoy!

~Rosey

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**ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS SODA**

PART TWO: THE NORTH POLE

When Soda woke up a reindeer was eating his jacket.

So he did as any of us would do...He screamed like a little girl and leaped backwards. "STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU OVERSIZED BOOGER BRAIN!" Only then did he realize he was surrounded by all eight reindeer and they were all staring at him. Then he realized he was laying in very wet and cold snow. Then he realized some of the snow was yellow so he jumped up real fast. "DBWAHHH!" He exclaimed. Or something like that.

"Hohoho," a deep, jolly laugh made Soda turn around fast and then he almost passed out. The reindeer were attached to THE sleigh. And inside THE sleigh was THE Santa Claus.

"OH MY HORSIE!" Soda cried. "HE'S REAL HE'S REAL HE'S REAL! DALLY LIED! I KNEW THERE WAS A REAL SANTA!"

"Sodapop Curtis," Santa smiled widely as if he and Soda were long lost friends. "Welcome to the North Pole."

"Thank you your Santaness!" Soda exclaimed, running over to Santa and sitting by him in the sleigh. But then he paused. "Am I really going to have to be Rosebud's Christmas gift? 'Cause I don't think Darry would approve of that little development."

"Hohoho, no, Soda, no. Shmirkle and Durkle are relatively new at this. They don't know you can't kidnap people for other people's gifts. I'm getting Rosebud a DVD copy of _The Outsiders_ instead. I figured that would work for her."

Though Soda had no idea what _The Outsiders _or a DVD was, he just nodded in relief. "Good. She scares me."

("But Soda I want you to be my Christmas gift!" I cry.

"Too bad," he replies.

"Humph," I say.)

Anyway, back to the story, Soda was now trying to figure out just how he would get home when Santa seemed to read his thoughts. "Well Sodapop I'll take you home in my sleigh and you can help me with my rounds before we reach your house. Would you like that?"

"ACK! IT'S ONLY THE DREAM OF MY LIFE!" he squealed.

"Then by all means, you start up the team," Santa smiled.

"REALLY? I GET TO SAY THE DASH AWAY ALL THING?" Soda was more excited than he had been in a long time. Now he may be seeming a tad bit out of character here but I assure you if anybody in the world met Santa, they would respond the same way. Even Darry would go ballistic.

"Yes you can," Santa smiled down at the seventeen-year-old.

"OHBOYOHBOYOHBOY!" And with that Soda grabbed the reigns and shouted "ON DASHER, ON DANCER, ON PRANCER, AND VIXEN! ON COMET, ON CUPID, ON DONDER, AND THE LAST ONE NOBODY CAN EVER REMEMBER!" This recieved him a very ugly look from Blitzen but the reindeer still started up and suddenly the sleigh was flying through the sky. "OHMIGOSH WE'RE FLYING!" Soda yelped, looking down. Then he suddenly remembered his irrational fear of heights. And he yelped again, though this time not out of joy, and he covered his eyes quickly with his hands. "We're gonna die, old man!" he cried in terror.

"Sodapop I've done this millions of times. I promise we're not going to die," Santa smiled kindly.

"Yeah, but look at you! Your hair's gone white from the worryin' that you're gonna fall! I can't lose this!" he cried, his hands clamping over his golden hair.

"Soda, I'm six hundred, seventy five thousand, three hundred and fifteen years old. If I'm not a little white haired I'd be worried," Santa chuckled.

"Man that's old," Sodapop was shocked.

"And still young," Santa winked. "Ah here we are. First stop: Hong Kong!"

After many, many stops around many, many places around the world, the sleigh finally landed on top of the Curtis house.

"Thank you so much for taking me around the world in under six hours!" Soda smiled. "Don't know how you did it, but I'm not one to question. If I was there'd be a WHOLE lotta questions coming your way right now."

Santa laughed and reached into his bag in the back of the sleigh. He then drew forth three boxes and handed them to Soda. "There's one for each of you three Curtis brothers."

Soda beamed. "Thank you Santa!" he cried, giving the old man a huge hug. "Sorry," he apologized after the hug. "I've always wanted a hug from Santa."

"Hohohoho," Santa laughed. "Hohohohohoho-"

Suddenly the world around Soda went all sparkly like you see in the waking-up-from-a-dream sequences you see in movies, and then everything went black.

When Soda woke up again, he found himself still sprawled out on the couch, a glass of empty milk in one hand and cookie crumbs coating the other. "Aww poop," he said. "It was just a dream."

Or was it? Only days later Sodapop was admitted into the hospital for a spleendectimy.

(Oh, just for you curious peeps out there...for Christmas Ponyboy got a new notebook and the name of about ten different publishing companies, Soda got a plushie horse he named Mickey Mouse, and Darry got a pair of dancing shoes and a record with a futuristic sounding song on it called "Time of My Life." But he said that kind of music only causes dirty dancing.)

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AAAANND SCENE! Yupyup there's the end! Well I hope you all enjoyed, laughed a little, and HAVE A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS SEASON!

**REVIEW?**

~Rosey


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